


I wish things didn't end the way they did

by Alessandra_Lovelli



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-24
Updated: 2017-08-24
Packaged: 2018-12-19 12:29:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11897748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alessandra_Lovelli/pseuds/Alessandra_Lovelli
Summary: Takes place during their second year at Teikou, after when the team slowly starts to fall apart. The story takes place soon after Akashi and Murisakibara have their one-on-one, thus sets the beginning when “Bokushi” takes over.





	I wish things didn't end the way they did

It was during your 2nd year at Teikou Middle School, the year in which you figured should have been a pretty good year for you. No, not just you but every one of your friends. Well, it was hard to really call them your friends but you did often hang out with them than with most people. However, it wasn’t like you were friendless. You had a friend. No, that was incorrect yet again. You had a friend whom you were close to for almost your whole life. Your childhood friend whom you sincerely cherished all this time. Though saying that he was just your childhood friend wasn’t enough, he was also your boyfriend whom you got together with not too long ago after entering middle school. Your friends, also known as the rising star basketball team, the pride and joy of Teikou commented that it was about a matter of time before you two got together. A relationship that was bound to happen eventually, though it had taken 8 years for it to really happen.

And who was this boyfriend of yours, you ask? Well, of course, it was none other than Akashi Seijuro himself. The captain of the basketball team who was a second year himself. The two of you had gotten together almost a year ago. It was towards the end of your freshman year when the two of you had confessed your feelings for each other. Although it didn’t occur around the same time when he had confessed. Actually, in reality, Akashi hadn’t only just spoke about his feelings for you, rather he did it in a way that you least expected to happen. However, that might be a bit too confusing for you to really understanding the situation, but allow me to walk you through some of the events that had led you to this moment.

It had all started when you had overheard girls in your class complaining over the fact that you and Akashi used to call each other by first name and that the two of you would stay together whenever it was possible.

_____________________________________

“Geez, like seriously who is she to call Akashi-sama by his first name? I mean like I’ve heard that they’re close but she doesn’t need to flaunt it all over the place” The first girl said as she crossed her arms in anger. Her friends strongly agreed as they nodded. “I actually heard that she hangs out with some of the basketball team. Does it have any friends outside the club?” “Ha! I seriously doubt it. None of the girls even speak to her, and the guys here are so pathetic that they’d probably follow her around like a puppy.” “Honestly, if she did allow such a thing, then wouldn’t that be just depressing?”

You gripped onto the door handle from the other end, but not too tightly to know that they would notice that you were there. You looked at your hand which was on the handle and noticed it trembling lightly, immediately placing your other hand on top of it to calm yourself down. You shook your head and let out a small breath as you slide the door open to walk in the room. The three girls looked at you in surprise, as they quickly picked up their packed bags and left the room, not saying a single word to you. Turning your head slightly as you watched them leave, you let out a sigh once again and approached your desk to approach one of your notebooks which you had accidentally left inside. “So…this is what it means to be bullied huh? It’s…rather painful” You almost wanted to laugh. You really would have if it was one of those moments where people would just joke around, but it didn’t feel like it at all. Where you wrong all this time? Was it really weird not being able to have many female friends? Was it strange to be able to call your friends by their name? It felt wrong…but perhaps you were the one that was wrong? You lived a different life from all of them being. You weren’t in the same social class as them to realise when something wasn’t acceptable…you were the alien, not them.

“You’re taking quite a long time. Were you able to find your book?” You widened your eyes and turned to see Akashi standing there by the door as he looked at you like you were taking a long time to finish your task. “(Y/N)? Is everything okay?” “Huh? Oh umm…yeah” You said as you let out a small laugh as you showed the book to him. “I’m sorry for making you wait for a long time.” He shook his head and gave you a small smile. “Don’t worry about me, though are you really alright? Your complexion looks rather pale”

Were you really that obvious?

“I guess I’m just feeling under the weather, I’ll be fine by tomorrow.” You said as you put your notebook back into your bag and quickly left the classroom with him. Akashi narrowed his eyes at you, he knew that something was wrong but knowing your stubborn attitude, you were unlikely to say what you were feeling out loud. “I see…”

**The real truth was that you weren’t okay. Not one bit…**

_____________________________________

No matter how much you tried to conceal yourself, you were still obvious in his eyes. It must have been because he’s known you for a very long time that he knows how you would normally react, and it didn’t take Akashi much time to realise that you started to act really strangely around him. It was possible that he realised it from that day itself when he first started noticing your somewhat distant attitude and wouldn’t talk about what bothered you. He couldn’t remember the last time you called him by his first name. He figured it may have been because you wanted to keep a respectful attitude when in front of other people, but he hoped that you would revert back to your old self when you two were together or with the others. Even the physical distance between you two had increased, as you always made sure you were 3 feet away from him at all times. It didn’t stop just there either, you too had stopped hanging out with him after school on the days he didn’t have tuitions nor did you stay for long once practice was over.

He bugged him a lot more than it should have if it happened with anyone else. Perhaps it was because it was you that he couldn’t stop thinking about it. He knew for a fact that it wasn’t something that he had done because he was careful about what he did and said around you. Normally, he generally wanted to keep a good relationship with everyone that he met with, but when it came to you he wanted nothing more than to forever stay by the side of the person which he could really be himself. He couldn’t truly be himself around other people, like Midorima Shintarou for instance that he was rather close to, which was why you were a very significant person in his life.

_Maybe you were getting tired of him? After all…he wasn’t perfect. Not as much as he liked. Perhaps, just perhaps if he was perfect then his father would have acknowledged his son’s existence._

Akashi immediately shook his head at the thought of that. “I’m just overthinking this…I’m probably just tired,” He said as he closed his books and decided to turn in for a day. However, he did come to one conclusion. He needed to see you. He needed to confront you about this, otherwise, he would eventually go crazy from not being able to speak to you like he used to.

The next day, he wasted no time after the bell for the break had rung. He immediately left the classroom to go wait outside your classroom before you could try to leave the class before him once again. Just like he imagined, you quickly left the classroom and was surprised to see him waiting outside for you. You widened your eyes in shock as you didn’t expect him to be waiting for you so early. “…w-why are you waiting here so early today?” His eyes narrowed down at your words. Again. You weren’t saying his name, even when it was just the two of you. Moreover, he could easily tell how nervous you were around him like you were waiting for a chance to just run away from him.

He couldn’t deal with it like this, and the fact that curious students were looking at the two of you wasn’t exactly the perfect time to speak freely. Therefore, without saying anything he caught your wrist and pulled you away to a place he knew best where the two of you could speak freely without any interference.

 You widened your eyes in surprised as he pulled you so suddenly without any warning and you let out a gasp. “E-eh? Akashi-kun, where are you taking me? We should be heading to the cafeteria now.” You spoke when you realised that he was heading in the opposite direction to where the cafeteria was. In fact, he was pulling you up the flight of staircases. “Akashi-kun?” You asked him once again but he didn’t respond to you which led you to become more nervous. Was he angry at you because you were starting to avoid him? No, you couldn’t have been wrong. After all…you were just doing what everyone else did in public and being respectful to his fan club. So why was he seem like he was angry with you?

Either way, it didn’t matter. You were feeling nervous at the fact that it didn’t seem like he was going to respond back to you. Your lips trembled and felt like you just might start tearing up not knowing what to do with the way the situation was at that very moment. “Seijuro!”

And just like that…he stopped in his place. You blinked in surprised as you hit the back of his shoulder. He then turned and smiled at you as he let go of your hand. “…you finally said it. Took you long enough” You paused as you stared at him, as a tear accidentally rolled down your cheek. You were confused. You weren’t sure what you were expecting but that expression on his face felt both soft and bitter at the same time, the opposite of what you were expecting. “…h-huh? I don’t…” He titled his head as he looked at you as if he was analysing you at that moment. The hand that held your wrist was no longer there, instead, it rose up and wiped the tear from your cheek. “I’m sorry if I scared you by doing suddenly. I didn’t know what else to do without you running away from me again. I must have been very misleading by dragging you away like that. I’m sorry…” You felt your heart racing at how warm his hand felt against your cheek, as well as his words that felt sincerely apologetic. “I’m just glad…I really thought you furious with me.” He let out a small chuckle “‘furious’ is not the way I would phrase it, nothing even close to that. I promise to explain it to you properly once we reach the roof.” “The roof?” Alas, it finally made sense to you. The two of you were a mere one flight of stairs to where the rooftop was. “I see now…that makes a lot of sense now” You said with a chuckle in your voice, to which he looked back at you once again, but in confusion. “And where exactly did you think I was taking you?” You blushed and looked down. “I wasn’t really sure…”

He let out a sigh as he shook his head. “Really now…I have no words for you at this moment, but let’s go…” He said as he held his hand out to you, and in your eyes, he seemed really prince-like, and the thought of that made you blush as you took his hand. He had led you to the rooftop as he held the door open for you. You looked around and noticed one thing. “There’s no one here…I’m surprised that despite having so many students, this area is completely empty.” He chuckled as he closed the door behind him. “That’s because this area is actually off-limit for students.”

You widened your eyes in shock as you felt your jaw drop. “Really? Then…is it really alright for us to stay here then?” He grinned as you as he placed a finger on his lips “as long as we don’t tell anyone else about us coming here, then we should be fine.” You gave him one last look before letting out a sigh yourself. “I never imagined you to be quite the daredevil, Sei…”

_Heh, I didn’t expect that either…_

“As much I’d like to continue talking about me, right now I’d like to talk about us…” You felt your throat become dry like you couldn’t speak anymore, and you were frozen in place. “I-I…” He looked at you in disappointment once he saw the look on your face. Akashi wasn’t completely certain about why your behaviour towards him took a complete 180 over the course of a week but he wasn’t liking it at all. “You’ve been acting very strangely these past few days, especially towards me. Did something happen after all?”

It was your turn to remain silent as you look down to the ground and simply shake your head. He let out a sigh and approached you he held your cheek in his hand. “Did I do something that caused you to be like this?” Your eyes widened in surprised as you met his sad eyes. You realised that you were hurting him, even though you meant well but you didn’t expect that you were both hurting inside. “W-what? Of course not! You never did anything…it’s me. I-I…I’m the problem.” “What are you going on about? Did someone say that you were?” You immediately looked away.

It seemed like he finally hit the nail on the head. “I see how it is now…someone said something about our relationship. Is that right?” You felt your shoulders sag as you nodded while letting out a bitter chuckle. “Honestly…why are you so observant? It would have been easier if you didn’t notice it.” “Even someone like Aomine would have been able to tell right away” You smiled softly and nodded finally. “I suppose so, I really am quite a terrible actress…”

In the end, you finally told him about what had happened that day and told him how you were trying to act the same way as everyone else so that it wouldn’t cause problems for the two of you. While you spoke about everything, Akashi did nothing but stare at you sadly, he had no idea what you were going through, but he did admire the fact that you weren’t just changing for you but himself. “Why did you feel the need to do that? I’ve always preferred the way we are normally. You just being yourself is more than enough for me.” You blushed at his words as you interlocked your fingers together. “I didn’t want to be a burden to you. After all, I hadn’t realised how popular you were amongst other people and I didn’t want to be the one to let that fall apart…after all, people might end up getting the wrong impression of us, that we’re more than just friends.”

“And what’s wrong if they do think that? I wouldn’t mind it.”

“…Sei?” You responded back by simply just saying his name and he loved it. He loved it when you called him by his name. After all, you were one of the very few people that would call him by his name and even if he had many people that would address him by his first name, the way you said it always said it sounded special to him. He reached his hand and placed it on top of your own. “I don’t see the problem with staying with the person you like”

Your lips parted slightly as you were almost sure your face was as red as his hair. “Do you even realise what you’re saying? There’s a difference between liking someone and  _liking_  someone.”

“Fine. Then believe me when I say that what I feel for you is more than just a friend. It’s taken me a while to understand, but I’m certain now that I do have feelings for you.”

It was at that point you felt as if your brain crashed or came to a complete stop as you stared at him with nothing but shock. “I-I-I…” Perhaps you could say you were malfunctioning as you struggled to come up with anything to say. Akashi chuckled at your expression, he knew exactly how you’d react to him dropping a bomb like that. “I’m not asking you to give me your answer right now, but if you’re comfortable with it, I’d like to court you until you’ve decided.”

“Courting? Are you sure about this? I don’t even know if I feel the same for you…I might even mess things up even more if things don’t work out.”

“Do you think that little of our friendship? If it doesn’t work out, fine. I wouldn’t think it would destroy everything we’ve worked towards growing up together. Besides, I think I’ll be able to deal with it as long as you don’t try to avoid me altogether.” He said jokingly which got you to smile. “All right I accept, and I promise that I won’t make the same mistake.”

The courting period gave you more proof of just how amazing Akashi really was, and you could say with confidence just how perfectly he played the role. While your dates were very similar to your usual hangouts with him after school, the only difference was that it was called a ‘date’ and you were much aware of his feelings towards that it felt emotionally different. It didn’t take long until you had told him that you loved him back and the everything after that followed that till 2nd year felt like a dream.

_____________________________________

It was up until the day Nijimura Shuuzo, the captain decided to step down suddenly that things started going downhill for both the team and your relationship. It happened during the moment you accidentally heard Nijimura talk about Akashi becoming captain when the two of you were barely halfway through your 2nd year. It crushed you that he would be stepping down so early when he still had so many months left till he finished, however, it couldn’t be helped. The situation with his father was something that couldn’t be ignored, yet it felt odd at the same time.

“Did you hear what went on inside?” You widened your eyes as you looked up to see Akashi standing in front of you with a frown on his face. You didn’t want to lie to him so you nodded. “I did…sorry, I didn’t mean to eavesdrop on your conversation. That was rude of me.” He sent you a wry smile “don’t worry about it, it was something he plans on revealing tomorrow…although his reasons for leaving, I’d suggest you not tell anyone.” “Yes, of course, I understand that. It’s a personal matter…it’s probably best that fewer people know about it. It’s just that…” You were going to say before you stopped and sighed, thinking it would be best to stop right there.

“Is it weird if I’m the captain now?” You shook your head immediately “no! of course not. I didn’t mean to put it that way. It’s just that it seemed so sudden, but believe me, I knew you would be captain. After all, I can’t imagine who else would be more suited than you. I know you’ll be amazing.”

Akashi knew very well that you meant every word and that helped encourage him quite a bit. He knew that he had the qualities for a leader, is that he was a rational thinker and knew how to bring out the greatest amount of potential from his teammates. However, the only part that he lacked was his ability to motivate them. He didn’t have that drive Nijimura had that sparked the energy of the members to unconsciously desire to be better and truly enjoy the game. Now that he was stepping down, he had his doubts to be able to build a team that would be equivalent or possibly even greater to ensure Nijimura that they would be fine once he graduates.

_But could he really do that with the way he is right now? There was some part of him that told him that he wouldn’t be able to live up to everyone’s expectations with the way he is now. He knows he has to change. Become stronger. Become the leader that Teikou needs before he gets left behind by everyone else._

You started noticing the changes in Akashi’s behaviour as the days flew by soon after Nijimura quit basketball, that he was starting to smile less and would sometimes drift off into deep thought. You’d ask him if he was all right from time to time, but he would smile that tells you that everything is okay and that he’s just constantly planning what he needs to do for the team. You knew that he was started to become pressured to prove his worth as the next captain, as many 3rd years grew displeased that they had to listen to someone who was younger than him, as well as some of the 2nd years that were starting to become more unmotivated with the way things were working, that there was no point to them practicing since the roster hadn’t changed at all. There was no need to, after all, they had the 5 (6) best members on the team that no one could hope to replace.

The current team picked by Akashi grew to be stronger than anyone could ever imagine, they had made a name for themselves and never lost a match since then. However, it’s because they were such an overpowered team that they had encountered their own issues: Aomine started to skip out on practice more regularly, not seeing the need as he knew he was strong enough; Haizaki was causing problems and subsequently quit for an unknown reason and so on. All of the issues started creating more and more problems which were no doubt causing pressure on Akashi who did his best to hold it all together.

_Things weren’t going well for him at all. What was he thinking? He wasn’t Nijimura. He couldn’t do what he did. While he managed to create the best team possible, he failed as a captain. He failed as a leader. While all his teammates were getting stronger, he was getting more and more left behind. It was no wonder his father won’t look at him with the way he is right now. It’s just as **he**  said,  **he**  was right about everything. He has to change.  
**He needs to change…**_

It wasn’t until he has to prove his worth against Murisakibara Atsushi that everything decided to take a turn for the worst.

Unfortunately, you weren’t there to watch the match. You were busy talking to the current coach about all the future matches for the team. You knew that things were going badly and it was really spiralling out of control which was why you did your absolute best to help out as much as possible to ease Akashi’s weight on his shoulders. You didn’t want him to endure it on his own. After all, you made a promise not to abandon him.

On your way back to the court, you came across Momoi Satsuki who looked completely terrified as if she witnessed something horrible. “Momoi? What’s wrong? Did something happen?” “It’s Akashi-kun. He’s made the decision to put a complete halt to practice out of anger.” What!? What was she saying? There was no way Akashi would have done that. You knew that wasn’t what he was like. You demanded an explanation and she told you all about the match with Murisakibara. You grew frustrated as you ran out to go look for him. She knew he was pressured, but pressured enough to make such a decision? She looked all over for him until she spotted him leaving the locker room with his bag.

“I heard about what happened…are you all right, Sei?” You asked him calmly but you couldn’t help the sadness that went along with it. He looked at you stoically as he nodded. “Couldn’t be better. There was an issue and I solved it.” ‘I’ You couldn’t help but be shocked at his sudden change in pronouns (from ore to boku). You had never heard him use it that way before. You were sure he was acting out of anger, yet he seems unusually calm about all of it. “You solved it? Seijuro, you cancelled practice. We can’t do that. The team needs to practice, otherwise, it’s going to be bad for morale if we stop.”

“The moral is already bad and you know it. Besides, in the end, it’s going to be our current lineup that will be playing till we graduate. Practice won’t do us good. It’s meaningless if no one wants it anymore and I don’t really care what they do as long as they can play the way they always do during matches.”

“W-what…are you saying? You can’t be serious! This is not what Nijimura senpai would have wanted!””

_Stop it…_

His gaze on you sharpened as he narrowed his eyes and you felt a shiver down your spine. “Not what he would have wanted? I built the strongest team in the whole of Japan and we’re currently unstoppable. What more could he have wanted? I kept my promise to him.”

“But this isn’t a team!” You felt your voice break as you tried to yell but it felt like your heart was going to come out of your mouth and your eyes stinging as the tears threaten to fall.

_Please stop this…you’re scaring her! She doesn’t need this_

 

_Please? Just how low have you fallen?_

“Frankly, I think I’ve had enough of you. You’re becoming an eyesore to me the more you keep spouting nonsense.” Akashi said as he walked towards you. That’s when you saw it, one of his eyes had turned into an orange-yellow colour. You didn’t understand how that happened but it was making you scared as you took one step back each time he stepped forward until you felt your back hit the wall.

_Don’t you dare say another word to her!_

 

_Why? What’s wrong with telling her the truth. We don’t need her_

 

_You don’t get to decide what the truth is. You have no right._

 

_You’re not the one in control anymore. You don’t get to make the decisions anymore_

“You act as if you know everything when in reality, you know absolutely nothing. I think it’s time you stepped down from your position. I don’t need a distraction like you by my side any longer.”

A distraction? He would have never thought of you like that. It felt like you were talking to a completely different person…!

“Who…who are you?”

Even his smile was different, it felt more threatening in comparison to the soft smiles he used to have.

“Isn’t that obvious, I’m Akashi Seijuro…except, I’m not the one you used to know...and he’s not coming back.” He said as he placed his hand next to your head, trapping your body as the tears fell from your eyes. It was clear now. He wasn’t Akashi anymore. The one you grew up with and loved. He was a monster.

“What’s going on over here?” You turned your head and saw Midorima meters away from you. Midorima didn’t understand what was going on until he saw the tears roll down your cheek as his eyes grew enraged as he roared out. “What the hell are you doing (to her)!?” Akashi clicked his tongue as he pulled away from you and shrugged his shoulders. “Nothing that’s really worth mentioning, Shintarou.”

An eyesore…a distraction…nothing worth mentioning…you couldn’t take it anymore. It was too painful. You can’t do this anymore. You took the chance to slip away while they were speaking and ran out of the room. Midoriya stared at you in shock as you passed each other and immediately glared at Akashi. “What did you say to her?” Akashi chuckled and shrugged “I said what I had to. It’s for the best.”

_Why…? You made her cry…I promised I wouldn’t make her cry…yet you…you destroyed everything._

 

_I did what you asked me to do. You told me to fix everything and I did. You’re the one that broke her heart by failing to prove yourself._

 

_…_

That day you cried your eyes out in disbelief over everything that has happened. From what started out as a dream turned into a nightmare and there was nothing you could do about it. You quit your job as manager and didn’t speak to anyone on the team who questioned your sudden disappearance. There were even some days you didn’t feel like going to school at all as you still couldn’t deal with the pain, but little did you know that someone else felt the same way to on the other side. Within the cognitive world, he could see what was going on beyond the glass. The glass he couldn’t get through the harder he banged, screaming to ask his other self to stop. The same glass that he watched you cry and felt his heart shattered into pieces as he dropped to his knees. Soon after that, he didn’t struggle to switch back. He kept quiet as he sat there, waiting, watching to see if you’d appear but you didn’t. You stopped coming to school altogether after the incident. Akashi knew at the back of his mind that his other self had planned it this whole time. After all, they were the same person. It wouldn’t be surprising that his other self knew what his weakness was and how to get rid of it. He even knew the exact words to say and do that would scare his weakness away into getting everything he desired. Being absolute at everything. That’s what he wanted. That’s what he asked for and his other self gave him. He had no right to complain. He asked for it and now he’s to take responsibility for it all. Talk about a cruel fate. He swore to protect you yet there was nothing he could do about it.


End file.
